Is your relationship suffering and lacking peace and love? Are you wondering what may be the cause? Check to see where you err and follow these helpful instructions to get rid of frustration, suffering and pain for a happy and successful love relationship.
First of all you must be sure if your relationship is worth fighting for. If it is, then following these helpful tips is all you will need.
Jealousy is a feeling of envy. You can only be jealous of something you wish to have and that is because you don’t already have it. Everyone has the tendency to be jealous, but how you control jealousy is all that matters because it is capable of building or destroying you. You don’t have to be a green-eyed monster in your relationship, it can only destroy your happiness and that of your relationship. There are many ways of handling such an issue in a relationship and here is one; for the sake of peace which is a major driving force in every successful relationship, do take a deep breath... once that awful feeling comes knocking at the door of your sweet and peaceful heart. Do take a deep breath, ease out the toxic feeling(s), remind yourself of how awesome you are, then communicate peacefully with your spouse, it will really help.
You should avoid keeping secrets from your spouse, for your spouse is a great part of you. Your spouse should understand you from the words on your lips to the deepest part of your thoughts. If your partner finds it difficult to understand you, make him or her understand you, keep trying no matter how long it will take, for it is possible to accomplish this.
Pride is a feeling of self-respect and personal worth. We personally encourage self-love and respect though, but this should not confuse you right now. In a relationship, there are some of your rules you must bend or eliminate completely. Your relationship with your dear one should not suffer so much for your pride. Pride absolutely comes before a fall. If you truly love your spouse, you should effortlessly see him or her as yourself, as your spouse is a great part of you.
Don’t nag in your relationship, it will only frustrate you. You don’t have to worry so much about anything, you will only succeed in destroying your peace of mind and happiness and that of your lover. Nagging drives the whole relationship to the mud, it is not necessary. Yes! It happens and most times very difficult to be controlled, this is why you must cultivate the habit of deep-breathing and self-appraisal, where you remind yourself always that you are awesome and beautiful and should not be associated with anger and grief.
2. Be free and give freely.
Learn the art of giving. Don’t always expect from your lover, always think of what he/she needs, and what he/she will be happy to have. Surprise your partner with a wrapped gift, it brings joy to the heart.
Don’t ever mess with the power of “influence” especially “negative influence” everyone above the age of 15, has the ability to differentiate good from bad. You at this point can tell the impact and consequences of some actions. Now, when you see those negative attitude(s) in a person, you can definitely tell. Some people have the ability to filter the good attitudes from a negative and socially unacceptable fellow but if you know you can't, don’t mess with it, let it go because such influence will only destroy you and your relationships. Remember, do not gamble with the power of negative influence.
Negative thoughts beget negative actions. What you think in your heart is exactly what your world gives back to you and in turn, find yourself into - word of mouth. How about, thinking of yourself as a priceless and flawless princess that no man will ever want to hurt. You might at this point think this is bullshit but I want you to be careful with thinking that your man has so many other girls out there that are apart from you or the other way round. This feeling will consume your happiness and worth, you somehow begin to see every girl or guy around him or her as his/her other lover, this makes you unnecessarily angry, anxious and a nagging man/woman. When you put up these attitudes as a result of negative thinking, you make your spouse uncomfortable and you put him or her in an urgent quest for peace, love, care, and affection that he/she can't get from you at the moment. Somehow, what you spent so much time building up in your negative imagination, becomes a reality, an awful reality.
When you condemn yourself, you kill your strength and ability by yourself. You are different from everybody else, there is a reason you are you, and they are they. This ultimately brings us to “focus” focus on yourself, love yourself, be happy with yourself, only then will you be able to build and develop yourself. The secret here is, self-love and respect attract love and respect from everybody in your life and in your world.
It is an insatiable desire for wealth (personified as one of the deadly sins). Greediness is exactly what makes a lover go astray in a love relationship. You have something(s) in your spouse but you are not just satisfied with it, you want more, therefore you seek for more. Maybe a male friend of yours lavish material wealth on his woman and yours don’t - maybe because he can't afford it or probably he is just too stingy to do what your friend is known for. You should define your relationship from the beginning, only then will you be sure of what you want and will get from your relationship.
Don’t be selfish with your lover, respect the feelings of your partner. There is a reason he or she nags. Look beyond the angry face and hurtful words, seek only to understand why your lover is unhappy and uncomfortable. He or she might be seeking more attention or reassurance of love and faithfulness but just don’t know how to state it. It is your responsibility to search through those hot displays of insatisfaction, and carefully pick and pluck out the real fault. Don’t let those moments frustrate you, don’t be lazy to find out what the real problem is and don’t be fed up until the problem is solved.
Learn to forgive your spouse when he/she offends you. Try as much as possible to forgive and forget. It is never alright to bring up issues of the past to tackle the present problem. Let the past remain in the past. Never let issues remain unresolved for too long, it will only destroy the peace and love in your relationship.
Learn to trust your spouse, it boosts confidence and encourages love and faithfulness in a relationship. Don’t ever judge and compare your present relationship to that of your past, always keep in mind that you are dealing with a new person, study carefully to understand your lover and don’t frustrate the peace of the relationship by comparing your ex-lover to your new.
Pillar Opo Kan