Dreams cost nothing but actualizing it is the most difficult thing that call for Devine intervention. Every human being in their youthful age has dream of who and what they wish to become but life is unpredictable when it comes to actualization of dreams.
Every women’s dream of becoming a mother begins at puberty stage, that was they began to think or plan the kind of mother they will like to become, in their dream some will even have it in mind the kind of a mother she will grow to become, the numbers of children they will give birth to, but it’s obvious that only about 85 percent were able to have their dream turns reality.
The pain of becoming an adult woman but not able to become a mother is one of the most painful things on earth, this kind of feeling can give them a sleepless night and a restless day which can make them develop a high blood pressure. As if this is not enough, many of them were not lucky to be with a man that is highly intelligent to understand the pain they are passing through, as a barren mother.
In Africa, especially in Nigeria, when a married woman is having difficulties in conceiving, we all have this same assertion that is the woman who is having problem, which sometimes not true. In some African home, especially in Nigeria, people do term the inability of a lady to conceive after marriage as a result of waywardness, they will jump into conclusion with one negative belief.
Another great challenges barren women do encounters was from the mother in-laws. Some are like the mother of a Lucifer through the way they torment their daughter in-law for their inability to give birth at due time. In this case the life of a barren woman can look very shattered and devastated especially if she is married to a husband who does not understand things beyond the way they seems to appear. Though, I am not blaming mother in-laws because every woman want to see her grand children but it would have been nice if they can treat their barrens daughter in-laws the same way they would have treat their own daughter if she is barren too.
Every barren woman face loads of challenges which only few can be highlighted in this article, along the line they may lost their ability to trust someone especially when all they have a friend are snitches, in some case only those who’s mother was alive still have someone to confide on.
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Some husband may lack the understanding that there are more to be concerned about in a woman’s childlessness in marriage, especially when the woman is faithful to her husband. But our men mostly believe that their erection and the ability to last long is enough prove that they are okay, no; that’s not enough, haven’t you heard about low sperm count? Some men’s semen do not have the ability to travel far through the fallopian tube before reaching the eggs, some times this journey can take up to three days, in which sperm might have died in the process if not active, there are many health factors that can be a result of childlessness in marriage but we do not understand and still have to put the blame upon our already suffocated wives.
Many men do add to their wife’s pain by going outside their marriage to prove that they healthy in that way to have a child, so they will impregnate another lady outside, some are so heartless that they will keep it as a secret believing that their wife won’t know, that’s not true, women knows more about what you hide from them, but that kind of pain is double of all the pains she is facing as a barren woman, only few among women can handle this situation soft heartedly.
At some point, some men do change from a loving and caring husband they use to be before marriage and at the early time of their marriage, some will even turn Anthony Joshua at home, treating their wife in an ungodly manner just because they want the world to know that are in pain for not having a child forgetting that in this kind of situation, women feel more pain than men just that they learn how to hide it just to make the house a living home.
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In order not to talk too much, I think the massage I am trying to pass here is simple, barren women are passing through a lot of emotional traumas, that they need to be treated with love and affection. No one would love to choose barrenness if it is optional.
~ Opata Abdallah Little