COVID-19 — I parked briefly to answer a phone call, and 2 Police officers opened my car doors and entered simultaneously.
Me (amused, but put on a fake accent and lock doors) “How can I help you, officer”.
One officer: “we are arresting you for wrong parking”.
Me (coughing) “that’s fine. Let’s go to your office”
(Pretending to be on a call with Wify, using my best imitation while coughing vigorously) “Ufan, I missed the way to the test centre, and stopped to call you so you can guide me again, but got arrested for wrong parking by some Policemen. As soon as we get to their station, i will call to inform you so you can come for me”.
Officer in passengers side; “Oga what are you testing for?”
Me: ” I Just got back yesterday from the US of A, and needs to protect my peeps at home by subjecting myself to testing and possibly isolation”.
Officer (struggling to open door, while the car is still in motion). “You for talk say you sick now. We dey pardon people wey no well”.
Me (revving up speed), “am fine. Just cough and body temperature. Nothing really!. We are gonna be fine! Directions to your office, pls?”.
Officer loudly “this is kidnapping. You are kidnapping an officer of the law. Oga park car!”
I complied, and they both jumped out of the car, panting. I ask “do you want my papers for reference”.
Oga if you no drive away I go shoot you!
Me smiling and whistling!
Just a yarn.
