In Igbo land, elders are respected individuals who are older than others, mainly behave in respectful & dutiful ways. Some people call them Okenye, others call Deede, Nnanyi Ukwu, Dimkpa, etc; we equally have Dimkpakpakpa, that is, elders in age but they are either empty in brain or evil.

 

There is no official age that makes one an elder, but a lot of circumstances can make one an elder, including death. One can be an elder in this village, but his mates in another village are not elders yet. In a situation, where the oldest man in a particular kindred or family, is 55 years old, he is automatically an elder in that kindred/family, but in another kindred or family, there are more than 15 persons that are above 70 years old, including the oldest man there that is 105 years old, those supposed elders in the same age grade of 55 to 58 years old are not yet elders, despite their mate who is an elder in the other family/kindred. That’s why, when we travel to marry, some of the elders in our potential in-laws’ place are old, while in other places, some elders among our potential in-laws are very young. Real elders equally check such attribute and it can stop marriage… Yes, if in the family we want to marry from, no man has lived above sixty years old there, an elder can reject such union (marriage) or find out first, why it was/is so.

In Igbo land, we have young elders from 60 years and above, while those above 70 years old are elders, then those above 80, 90 & 100 years old are more elderly than others, they can be called Okenye. In Igbo land, we say, Okenye a naghi anó n’ulo, Ewu a múò n’óbu, which means, “An old man those not allow or condone wrong & bad things to happen/occur before him.

 

There is another Igbo adage that says, “Ihe Dimkpa nó n’ala hu, nwatakiri rigoro osisi Orji, ó gaghi ahu ya”… “What an elder saw while sitting down, even if a child climbs the tallest Iroko tree, he will not see it”. Ofcourse we all know the adage that says, “Words of elders are words of wisdom”. In addition, when an elder wants to bless you, he will not tell you “you shall build a house, buy a car, have this or that”, he will rather say, “You shall live more than my age (95 years old), achieve more than I achieved, have more children, you shall see your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, your children shall train/feed you well, your shall play and be blessed with your grandchildren and great grandchildren”,…… then your answer shall be, “iseeee!, iseeeeeeeee!!, iseeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!”, “iseee” means, Amen!., therefore you can equally answer “Amen! Amen!! Amen!!!”.

 

SOME THINGS TO KNOW OR TALK ABOUT OUR ELDERS.

• Avoid being cursed by an elder, especially a curse that was done out of anger or grief caused by you.

 

•  Do no point at an elder while talking to him or her, like this👉 or this 👆🏼, it is not acceptable in Igbo land.

 

• Women in old age are equally elders, though they may not be partaking in so many community things, but sometimes they have more blessings than the elderly men, especially when you do little things for them, like fetching water, firewood, helping them to carry something, etc, in fact, most elderly women are extravagant in giving blessings, more than the elderly men.

 

• When you are drinking with an elder (male), you dare not finish the drink from the bottle or jar, you ought to remain small at the bottom of the jar or bottle, it is strictly for elders, it is called “ókpa mmi or ike mmi or ukwu mmi”.

• 👉 You don’t call and elder by his name, unless you are joking with him, or unless the elder enjoys jokes with youths, call him or her “Elder, Deede, Okenye, Daada, Papa, Mama, Papa Ukwu, Mama Ukwu, Papa Nnukwu, Mazi Okeke, Nnanyi Okafor”, and what have you.

 

• Make sure you greet an elder first, everytime you meet him or her, do not wait for him/her to greet you first, sometimes when you greet first, the either will reply with blessings.

 

• In Igbo tradition, we greet elders with two hands or we bend down our heads a little while greeting elders…. Greeting an elder with one hand is foreign culture, not our culture.

 

• 👉If you are an elder already, you ought to respect other elders that are older than you, especially when the person is up to 10 years or more, older than you: that’s, a man of 90 years old is a confirmed elder, but when he sees a man of 101 years, he respects him as much as needed.

 

• 👉 When you are privileged to eat with an elder, you don’t take meat or fish from the soup or food, even if you ate just a little, you have to wait until the elder finish eating before you can take fish or meat, or you ask for permission first.

 

• 👉It is only one who washes his or her hands very well is allowed to eat and dine with elders (Igbo proverb).

 

• Elders do not fear death, are not intimidated by anything or anybody, always say the truth, are peace makers, do not support evil, etc, unless such particularly elder is “Dimkpakpakpa”.

 

• 👉 Even Kings {Ndi Eze} , respect, recognize and honour elders, especially the presence of elders.

• 👉 We respect elders, we are not supposed to fear them, we should fear only God who can kill both body and soul, elders cannot kill your soul, they can kill your body, unfortunately some elders are deadly, diabolic and fearful.

 

• Titles like Chief, High Chief, etc, can be gotten by anyone, but ‘Ichie, Nze’, etc, are meant for elders.

 

• You don’t allow an elder to stand up in a gathering while you are sitting, even if the chair belongs to you, you are required to stand up for the elder(s).

 

• Do not argue with an elder…. Though you can correct an elder, but do it politely, systematically and diplomatically.

 

• Always go to elders’ places for more blessings, but beware of evil elders, they are more dangerous than snakes, in fact, avoid them more than you can avoid snakes, they can bring you down and render you useless, especially those elders that their children are not progressing, their grandchildren are vagabonds, etc.

 

• Do not conclude that all elders are good, and do not over shine in front of all elders, to avoid “aka Ndi village a biila ya”.

• Beware of these two adages…. “Ala a dighi nma bu uru Ndi Nze and Umunna bu ória Ukwu”.

 

• Always meet your elders for facts and figures, most of them are historians, encyclopedia of good news, etc.

 

• When you want to marry, make sure you involve at least one elder from your family or kindred, it is a big sign that you are from a responsible home and your people are in support of the union/marriage.

 

• An elder does not have physical power to fight, but can control all the physical powers of the youths within, to cause havoc, for good or for bad, therefore, avoid the anger of an elder.

 

• Do not delibrately treat an elder badly, to avoid Nwa/Onye ózó, mekwee gi ka i siri mee m”.

 

• You don’t fart before an elder, but you are free to fart before your age mates.

 

• You don’t open a drink or bless a drink (hot drink, not beer) when you are sitting with an elder, you can only do so when the elder permits or approve that.

• Any community or village without an elder, at least young elders, is cursed.

 

• Even in this our WhatsApp chat group(s) we have elders, they don’t talk/chat anyhow, but they read all posts, some of them may not write, but can call you on phone to praise you or condemn your act, based on your attitudes/posts.

 

• A true elder should be able to know certain, salient, as well as major customs and traditions, culture, norms and values, of his/her people.

 

NOTE: Much as we know that we all need elders around us, especially in certain difficult issues, we should equally be very much careful of the greedy and evil ones, they can ruin one’s life, therefore, it is better to be watching the elders with ones eyes, unless you are convinced that such elders are not evil, some of them can use the money or anything you give to them to bring you down, some of them can equally bring you down because you did not give them anything, while some can bring you down because you are doing well their children are not doing well.

The best elder and oldest man in the world who is reliable, dependable, unchangeable, unshakeable, unstoppable and inevitable, is Jehovah God, always run to Him in prayers, good behaviour, etc, He knows it all, has never failed before, His time is the best.

May the Good Lord who created Heaven & Earth, help us to be elders, especially good and recognized elders, in our families, kindreds, communities, associations, clubs, groups, offices, etc, in Jesus Mighty Name I pray…… Amen!!!.

 

Antiquity with positivity simplicity dignity uniquity without iniqutious iniquity or inimical indignity.

 

 

Rotn. Prince A.A.A Nwankwo. SAN = Senior Applicant of Nigeria.
{Anchor Antiquity Blue Blooded Prince AAA}.
0803,660,3662.
[A Prolific cum Proficient Chronicler, A Trained & Certified Journalist, An Anchor/M.C, An Author of 5 Interesting Books].