Dear Bunmi,

My girlfriend comes from a very religious background and doesn’t believe in sex before marriage, and this could be quite frustrating for me.

Now, I’ve met this girl at the university and we’ve had sex.

I am 22 and my girlfriend is 23. We’ve been together for two years, though we have known each other since secondary school. All she agrees to is a kiss and nothing more.

When I met this new girl, a few months back, she looked like the girl of my dreams and the most beautiful I have ever met. I got to know her and we started going out as friends. Then, one night, we went to a party. We both had a lot to drink and started kissing. We then went up-stairs to an empty bedroom.

She was really hot – the sex we had fulfilled my wildest fantasies. I knew I shouldn’t be cheating but this girl was so exciting. We couldn’t get enough of each other after that. We have sex whenever it is possible and it gets better and better.

I told her about my girlfriend and she said she didn’t care. She just says she wants to continue seeing me.

I’m back home now and we’ve agreed not to meet during the holidays, to give ourselves time to sort things out. I thought I’d be able to forget her when I was with my girlfriend, but I find I can’t. I don’t know what to do. I miss the fantastic sex I had with my other girl and don’t even feel guilty.

Dare, by e-mail.

Dear Dare,
Sexual chemistry is amazingly strong, but that doesn’t necessarily make for lasting relationship. Ask yourself exactly what you’re missing now. Is it just the sex or do you miss being with this new girl of yours? If it’s just the sex, ask your girlfriend to spice things up between you physically. There is a lot you can do without going all the way.

If, on the other hand, you genuinely miss being with your university girl as bad as you are missing the sex, find out whether she’d like a proper relationship with you. If she says yes and you can’t imagine giving her up, be kind and finish with your girlfriend.