Mum was promoted to the position of a Branch Manager and was transferred to Ibadan to head a new branch. This was what she had worked for all these years. Becoming a Branch Manager was her utmost dream for many years. Mum was so happy with her new position but the transfer did not go well with dad and all of us. She never gave dad opportunity to protest her transfer when she started making out her plans. Within two weeks, mum had contacted an agent in Ibadan through a colleague who got her a two bedroom flat in the outskirts of Ibadan. When mum left for Ibadan I knew it was a journey to marital desolation for dad.

“I don’t want to say anything because you may think I don’t want your progress but leaving your family at this time is not healthy”, my dad protested. “So what should I have done? Resign the job or reject the offer? The position I have laboured for all through the years? This is God’s open door and I can’t afford to throw it away. Instead of you to rejoice with me, you are here talking about family. All our children are all grown and Nike can take care of her sisters well. I will always come home for weekend.” My mum replied as she ordered Faith and Christy to move her things into the waiting van outside. We are surely not going to miss mum because her temporary exit from the house will give us a level of freedom and peace. We will be free from her nagging and troubles.

That night mum left for Ibadan, my dad came into my room like the other time. From his eyes you could see lust and determination to get what he wanted. “Please daddy, don’t do this to me. I thought you said you love me? Why will you be the one to take away my virginity? Please daddy! Please daddy!! Please daddy!!!” All my begging fell on deaf ears as my dad forced himself into me. It was really painful going through this evil act. He left my room without saying a word to me after he stole my virginity. My love for my dad disappeared like a vapour. My love for him turned to hatred immediately. My loving dad became a rapist, the man I trusted all my life became a beast and a terror. My tears was thick and I could hear the loud sound they made when they dropped to the ground.

Three hours later, he came knocking at my door. His voice that was once a balm to my soul suddenly turned to a terrific sound. The fear that griped me when I heard his voice behind the door was frightening. “I am sorry Nike, I am sure you know daddy loves you. Please open the door, I have a surprise for you.” If I had a knife in my room that day, I would have committed murder. I would stab him and stab myself. I sobbed bitterly all through the night. I didn’t come out for three days even when my sisters came knocking. I could see the worries on my sisters and I didn’t want them to do anything stupid, so I opened the door on the third day.

Who would you blame, my dad or my mum? The nightmare of what my dad did to me began to trail me. My sisters tried all they could to find out what happened to me but how can I tell my sisters my father took my virginity by force? It is sacrilege and abomination in Yoruba land for a father to have canal knowledge of his own biological daughter. I knew what his act will cost the family but I can’t talk to anybody about it. I can’t manage the shame and mockery. The thought to poison my dad began to find its way into my mind. I will kill him and free myself of the trauma of his presence.

What else should I have done?