YEARS back, my husband had an affair with one of our daughter’s friends.

The girl, who was married at the time, became pregnant and had a little girl who is now an adult.

Over the years, this girl divorced her first husband, remarried, then divorced again. Now she lives with a new man who doesn’t know the type of tramp she is.

My husband and I discussed her recently and wondered if the girl she had when they both had the affair could be his.

Should we really try to find out?

Susan, by e-mail.

Bunmi replys

Dear Susan,

What is there to find out?

You may get a sense of grim satisfaction from exposing the woman who tried to steal your husband, but what about the other woman at the centre of it all – her daughter?

How do you think she would react to riding out that the man she calls Dad might not be her father?

What are you going to gain by digging up the past? If you still feel bitter and angry after all these years, you need to talk to your husband.

A young woman’s future is at stake here, so keep your emotions in check before you go demanding tests.

Your children might not even be on your side!