In my years as a priest, chaplain, field evangelist, missioner, counselor, youth friendly minister and social media influencer, I have observed the following points that can cause suicides among our youths:
Many parents fail to encourage young ones instead they mount pressures on them to go and marry, because their mates are married,”go to Malaysia and make money, because your mates who travelled just last month, built houses and bought cars for their parents.”
These youths are left with no options than to make it or die. They jump into marriage to avoid reproach and incessant parental venomous lashings.
Allow your children to succeed and survive and do well to encouraging them.
Many youths don’t believe in themselves. Some commit suicide because they have failed in many areas of life and so the easiest option is to take one’s life. Failure does not determine the end of your destiny.
Refuse self defeatism and like the biblical Joshua and Caleb, accept the faith that conquers giants.
So many youths may not easily open up when confronted with the challenges of blackmail. Either because of what the society will do to them for a mistake they made or what their loved ones will feel about them.
So many who survived blackmail, were fortunate as a result of being strong enough to stand the shame of their actions and make amends. Some who were not fortunate, committed suicide because, they have foreseen the outcome of our judgmental society.
This is the worst of them all. I have had cases where youths wrote me that they are depressed and that they ending it. This can come as loneliness, inferiority, emotional trauma, mood swing, sadness, pain, disappointment etc.
Many who were able to open to me never regretted it. A soothing word is a balm to injury and it can heal a wounded soul.
Get out of your environment, take fresh air, drink lots of water, take a walk, speak to yourself, pray and believe you can’t end a failure, even when failure is facing you.
We live in a society, where civilization and too much quest for materialism took over the center stage of our communal life.
Africans are known for communal and collective ways of living and doing things. We carry each others burden. In the days of our fathers, no one hears a noise in his neighbors compound without rushing out to find the cause and providing immediate communal solutions to the problems.
Today, we will live in a well polished and furnished buildings, properly fenced. Whatever happens to your neighbor is not your business.
We, judge and condemn people to hell. Those who succeeded in life look down upon others as “failures and never do wells.” Those who could write better and spoken English ridicule others who couldn’t. Those with sweet and wonderful marriages, homes, children etc. Mock others whose homes are messed up.
We go to churches, mosque, community parties to donate and spray millions; yet there are neighbors who could barely afford a square meal. There are people in the hospitals, schools and homeless people without hope.
I have paid many school fees, hospital bills surgery bills, house rents, shelter and clothings for many people who would have been dead by now. You and i can be an avenue of help, comfort and care to those abandoned and tortured by the storms of life.
So many youths are challenged by this evil monster called “poverty.” Some have done everything within their powers to pay school fees, take care of their ageing and ailing parents, study, struggle to feed and pay departmental, faculty and hostel fees etc.
Most go into prostitution, robbery, kidnapping, getting pregnant and selling of children and so many other vices to make ends meet. This is not to justify poverty or such actions, but if not properly guided the youths do worst things than these mentioned points for survival, many die or arrested as a result of such actions.
We have record of those who died in school because of their boyfriends or girlfriends jilted them for another or ended the relationship. We may say that it is not enough reason for suicide. We need to understand that not many people can bear emotional crack.
A proper counselling can help bring back the senses of such people.
Social media helps us to interact with one another and make friends. However, it has created lots of panic, insecurity, depression, unhealthy competition, fake lifestyle etc.
So many people on social media live fake lifestyle. When one who is not properly grounded comes to social media to see what his fake mates claim to have achieved by means of pictures, the person is left with no other option than to conclude that he or she is a “failure.”
Social media does not determine success or failure.It is a world of it’s own.
9.GOSSIP/MISTRUST/ BAD COMPANY/ENVY:
When you fall into the hands of untrained counsellors and friends, they can easily share your problems to the public and fellow friends.
Bad company can influence suicide, envious people who will never appreciate you but always looking for areas you will fail are dangerous.
You need to have a thick skin against gossip,if not,words and lies spoken against you can kill you.
Keep off such people.
The church should be a home of succor, salvation, healing, deliverance, repentance, acceptance and not a place where people are taught “quick rich syndrome.”
The church, today centered her teachings mainly on tithes, seeds, materialism, recognition of the rich, celebration of politicians with little or no time for young adults.
Most preachers do not see the dangers of theological poison by telling people you can always succeed without labour, hardwork and diligence.
These youths come to church and go home empty and depressed. Jesus said, “come to me those who are burdened and I will give your rest” – Matt.11:28.
The church of this era should wake up and take serious messages of salvation and healing for the soul of God’s people and not advertising fake miracles and extravagant lifestyles of ministers of the GOSPEL.
The government of the people failed to live up to the expectations of the masses. They are voted in and they end up wasting every tenure without addressing basic societal needs .
Tertiary institution lecturers are most times part of the larger problems of these young ones. Some not all.
A greater number these teachers frustrated the youths into doing what they shouldn’t have done just to escape the wickedness of most of these lecturers.
Some are forced to pay heavily to pass a course, some pay with their bodies without which they are made to carry over courses.
These issues should be addressed urgently.
People are quick to make donations for bereaved persons and family members. No one cares for the living.
They will not appreciate you on social media and real life but will be quick to post your pictures and pour tributes at your demise; things they never did when the person was alive.
They will not pay your hospital bills, school fees and other personal burdens that requires collective support, but will make out time to contribute for your burial.
We must learn to be our brother’s keeper!
12. PONZI SHEMES:
The highest that almost ravaged our country was the defunct “MMM”. So many people invested their school fees in it. There are many fake, useless networking companies in Nigeria defrauding people of their hard earned money.
There is no cheap and easy money anywhere. So.many of youths got involved in this and some are licking their wounds, the unlucky ones are dead now.
We must learn to be careful and contented with what we have.
There are so many other issues which time and space will not permit me to mention here.
However, there is no justifiable reason for anyone to take his or her life. You don’t own your life, you have no right to take either.God will question for doing so.
Try to speak out no matter how heavy it is. Get out of toxic environment and people who talk you down because they feel they have made it in life.
Bear in mind,that in this life,”no condition is permanent.”
If the night can make way for the day, then your situation will one day bow out of the way.
“Fortune befriends the bold.”
I will leave you with Psalm 121….“I will look up to the hills from whence cometh my help? My help cometh from God,who made heaven and earth. “
GOD IS OUR EBENZER!
CRUSADER FOR PEACE AND JUSTICE THROUGH NON VIOLENT MEANS AND FELLOW INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS.