TO KEEP A RELATIONSHIP YOU NEED TO BE READY TO LOSE IT; Profit Eneh

When I made the statement above a lot of persons seem not to understand it. Yes, I know why.

Why would anybody what to lose a relationship they really want to keep? Well, the truth is that for you to really have a successful relationship you need to be ready to lose it.

Now let me break this down.

So many people stay in a relationship where they are treated very badly. Some the relationship is toxic others it could be that their partner cheats or does something they don’t like but instead of walking away, they stay back because they believe they are crazily in love with this person and don’t want to lose the person.

During one of my counseling sessions, a client said her boyfriend insults her, talks trash about her. Few times he has threatened to quit the relationship but she ends up begging him to stay which he will accept but still makes her feel she is the one more interested in keeping the relationship.

In her words, I am so in love with this guy and i don’t want to lose him.

One of the things I tried to make her understand was that the guy is treating her in such a way because the guy knows or that she has shown the guy that she is not ready to let go of that relationship no matter how bad and toxic it gets.

If this guy really loves her and knew she would walk away if she is not treated well he won’t treat her that bad, but because she doesn’t want to lose the relationship and he knows that so he misbehaves and she remains powerless.

The concept or idea of being ready to lose a relationship in other to keep it is all about knowing who you are, what you carry, how special you are, and that you can walk away from that relationship if you are not being treated well.

If you lose or don’t have this ability you might find yourself in a situation where you are trying to hold on to something you already lost.

If you find yourself in a position where you are not ready to lose a relationship with all the toxicity that comes with it then you must note you need serious help.

The reason people treat others badly and control them is that they make them believe they are worthless and nobody else will desire them and some have already believed these lies, so they now do everything to please their toxic partner so they won’t leave them.

You need to come to that point in your life where you can say to hell with this relationship if it will cost me my life or my mental health. It is when you attain this position you will be able to gain control and keep the right relationships.

People that truly love you will not do anything that will make them lose you because they know you won’t stay if they start to misbehave.

It is when you are ready to leave you will be able to save the relationship.

Let me repeat it in case you missed it.
People misbehave in relationships more when they know you will stay with them no matter how they treat you, but the moment they sense that this person won’t take this nonsense behavior from then they start doing the right thing to keep you because they don’t want to miss that treasure.

Now to balance this.

This teaching is not here to encourage you to start threatening your partner with a breakup message after every little misunderstanding.

It becomes childish if at every provocation you start threatening to leave your partner with the popular statements, “I have so many guys after me or there are ladies out there that are giving me signs”. It’s totally childish and immature.

This teaching is just to encourage you to know that for you to have the best of relationship you must be ready to let go when you need to. You can’t keep holding on when you know deep down that everything is over or that this person truly doesn’t value who you are.

It is only when you are ready to lose a relationship that you can leave where you are been tolerated and go to where you will be celebrated and enjoy a happy union.

Cheers

Profit Eneh
Personal development and relationship coach.