UNDEFINED RELATIONSHIPS: Nothing in life happens by chance, either good or bad, something or someone must have influenced it. If a fruit falls from the tree, it happens because it is either ripe and detaching from the stem, or a wind blows over it. Whether it’s a wrong relationship or the one that is leading to marriage, undefined relationships are what they are because one person fails to define the purpose of the relationship.


Why won’t sex be the order of a relationship when the man and the woman fail to define its purpose? Why stay with a man or lady for years based on assumption, or you’re thinking the relationship would autopilot itself to your dreamland? Ask married people about how they got into marriage, they would tell your marriage was in view, and there was an allotted time frame for it.


Many love relationships are undefined because the man and the lady fail to define certain things about the relationship. The menace of undefined relationships is great so much that it ties down the life of many, wastes their time and resources and it keeps them moving ahead in life. An undefined relationship does not have boundaries. Anything goes, and anything can be done as far as cohabitation, fornication, immorality, and abuse is concerned. And when there are no boundaries, values are broken, principles and processes are violated, and no one is held accountable.

Let there be limits to what should be done and what should never be done. Don’t act like couples when you’re not 100% sure of marriage. Set boundaries in your communication, and conduct. Avoid endearing words that would arouse feelings when there’s nothing serious about your relationship. Avoid indecent touches. When a relationship is undefined, abuse is inevitable. People abuse their bodies which is God’s temple on a pedestal of immorality because they don’t know what they want in the relationship. For instance, if you know that you don’t want premarital sex, why stay in a relationship where the man wants to “touch” or the lady wants “romance” without coitus?


Domestic violence does not just start in marriage, there must have been signs during courtship, but it was ignored. Anyone who vents their anger by hitting you during courtship will advance in marriage. Do you want a relationship where you’d be beaten blue-black or do you want peace of mind? Define your relationship. When you don’t know what you want in life, you stand the risk of falling into an undefined relationship. This is why it is important you discover God’s purpose for your life before your quest for a partner.


The knowledge of your existence should prevent you from doing those things that would destroy, or hinder the purpose of why He created you. When you know that a relationship is cancerous to your emotional well-being, you’d never opt-in even if you’re giving a million-dollar. Many ladies have been trapped in an undefined relationship for several years because they assume, thought, or felt they’re in a relationship that’s heading somewhere. If you’re going somewhere in life, ask that man or lady you’re in a relationship with if you’re heading in the same direction.


Ask questions. Define the relationship. It doesn’t mean you’re forward or desperate, it’s wisdom. Let him tell you if you’re “just friends,” or you’re dating for the fun of it. A purposeful relationship has a destination, but an undefined relationship has no bearing. Today, you’ll fight, tomorrow, you’d reconcile and you’re not making progress. Before you start a philanthropic ministry on a lady by taking care of her financial responsibility, ask to know whether you’re on the same page. Don’t be silly by spending your fortune on her only for you to discover that you have been friend-zoned.

Many heartbreaks, jittery, unwanted pregnancy, premarital sex, or evils that were perpetrated in most relationships could have been avoided if the relationship was defined at the onset. If the status of the relationship is not defined within three months of frequent communication, emotional intimacy, and acts of kindness as either “friendship,” “lovers heading to marriage”, or ” just friends,” there’s no crime in asking questions.


Don’t allow feelings to take over. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Prevention is better than cure. Don’t allow a man to build a canopy over your life with the tag, “we are in a relationship,” whereas the relationship isn’t going anywhere. Don’t assume or conclude without the consent of your partner. If you want to avoid stories that touch the heart, define your relationship before it is too late.


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