Apologies to your spouse no matter how ‘thoughtful’ you are.
“Please accept this big, heartfelt sorry wrapped in kisses and hugs and sealed with a few tears, my sweet husband.”
“I never want to stop being your wife. I promise to change myself and be more considerate of your feelings, my dear hubby.”
To do this successfully and easily, you have to follow this basic rules and build on it.
- Don’t justify why you did wrong. Accept it was wrong
Don’t seduce your spouse into sex hoping that sex will make your spouse forget the wrong you did and you can escape humbling yourself to say sorry
- Don’t blame your spouse for making you do something wrong. Be an adult. Take responsibility for your actions
Don’t send friends, family or siblings to apologise on your behalf. It shows cowardice. Face the one you have wronged.
- Don’t belittle the wrong you did as if showing your spouse he/she is overreacting. If it is a big deal to your spouse, take it as a big deal
Don’t start listing your spouse’s past wrongs when your spouse confronts you on your current wrong. Love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs.
- Don’t apologise on social media or put a post on Facebook or WhatsApp status hoping your spouse will see it without saying anything in private. Make your apology personal and heartfelt.
Don’t brush it off and move on as if nothing happened just because you know your spouse loves you. Don’t sweep things under the carpet.
- Don’t throw money and gifts at your spouse and doing good deeds without addressing the hurt you have caused and the issue. You can’t buy your way into healing. Healing is emotional, not material
Don’t apologise rudely and casually saying “Aah, OK then, I am sorry then if that will make you stop complaining” just because your spouse has asked for an apology. Show genuine remorse.
Don’t wait for when your spouse has decided to divorce you or to break up with you to let go of your ego and say sorry. You might be too late
Apologise as soon as possible, sincerely, acknowledging your fault, recognising how it hurts your spouse, assuring him/her of your love and commiting to do better