MARITAL PROBLEMS, are one of the basic ways spouse use to discover each other in the journey of marriage.

A good counselor will tell you straight not to judge your marriage until you’ve spent 5years with this person. All those lie you both said to each other will come to bare, and then the test will start.

These tests are called marital problems, they forge every home that will last, or in some cases fail. Remember it you must try before you judge, and the trying time is minimum 5years.

These are the reasons for marital problems:

1). TO TEST YOUR LOVE
The moment you profess love for someone, challenges will come to test if you both are serious about it. Love must be tested to see if it will withstand the fire. Can your love stand the test of time?

2). THE RAWNESS OF BEING NAKED
Nothing strips you naked like marriage. In marriage, you will discover things about each other that already existed or that you acquire as you progress. These discoveries sometimes will be ugly. Can you two be naked and unashamed? Can you be loved for who you truly are?

3). EGO
Ego will lead to fights and arguments. Ego is what is keeping many couples from solving their issues quickly, from seeking help through therapy, from acknowledging wrong, from listening to the other side and compromising.

4). YOU TWO ARE IN DIFFERENT SEASONS
Perhaps you two married whilst in two different seasons. Maybe you were in the season of bringing up a family, your spouse was still in the season of looking around and having fun. Or maybe you two started in the same season of building a family and along the way, one of you entered a different season such as feeling lost, feeling broken, loss of work, depression, self-doubt and it brought disappointment. Or maybe you both suffered the same tragedy such as the loss of a child; one of you healed faster but the other is still in mourning making you two not connect. Be patient and always accommodate each other.

5). TO REVEAL GOD TO YOU
Sometimes God will allow you two to go through some difficult times to reveal to you that He is your Healer, Provider, Redeemer, Counsellor, Unifier.

6). TO PREPARE YOU FOR YOUR PURPOSE
When God has marked you two for a purpose, such as to impact society, to help other couples, to lead people to financial breakthrough, to teach others about parenting; God will allow you two to go through some uncomfortable experiences to teach you and equip you. Our struggles are often an indicator of our purpose. Once God helps you both to stand, you will help others stand. Don’t give up.

7). TO HUMBLE YOU
Often times when marriage is going well and smooth, it is easy to get comfortable, to get filled with pride or become lax; trouble will come to wake you both up and to keep you grounded and humble. Always maintain a posture of humility or life will force you to be teachable

8). TO LEAD YOU BACK TO GOD
Marriage can easily make your faith weak or make you less spiritual as your focus is on your spouse and children. As you veer away from God or maybe even turn your spouse to your idol determining every aspect of your life, God will shake your marriage to get your attention. Fix your eyes on God no matter the state of your marriage.

9). YOUR FOUNDATION WAS WEAK
If there are some aspects about each other that were not dealt with during courtship, in marriage you will have to deal with them no matter how difficult. Relax, this is for your good if you manage this well

10). TO MAKE YOUR STRONGER
Muscles grow stronger when pushing against an opposing force; similarly, your marriage will grow stronger as you two learn the art of using storms to improve your marriage.

11). YOUR MARRIAGE IS BEING ATTACKED
The enemy doesn’t like healthy families. Healthy marriages lead to healthy individuals, fulfilled purpose and healthy societies. He comes to steal, kill and destroy your marriage. The enemy will throw issues at you and even work on your flesh to sow discord and disunity in between you two. You both will attack each other after years of unity. Don’t take the bait. Don’t let the enemy win.

12. YOU HAVE NOT TAKEN CARE OF THE LITTLE FOXES
Every couple has the little foxes that come to ruin the garden. For some, the little foxes are in-laws, others it is sex, others it is friends, others it is the phone, others it is finances, others it is the ex; identify your little foxes and keep them from ruining your love

13). DISCONNECT BETWEEN REALITY AND EXPECTATIONS
Sometimes the reality of marriage is different from our expectations. We hurt because of expectations not being met. If you two manage your expectations well and you treat each other well, you might shape your reality close to your expectations as possible. Complaints only make the reality more sour.

14). CLASH OF PERSONALITIES
You two are different genders, different personalities, with different perceptions, from different upbringing. Because of this there will be friction from time to time. But when you learn to hear each other out and try to understand each other’s perspective, you two will make it.

15). LACK OF KNOWLEDGE
Sometimes you two will make a mountain out of a mole hill simply because you two lack knowledge. This is why couples that have been together longer and gone through all manner of challenges are not scared of issues anymore. They have acquired more wisdom on how to handle things. Seek knowledge, it will help you two see that the problems you are facing today, are manageable