One of the greatest challenge many singles at the verge of making marital choices face in life is to know how to find the right partner or to know who the right partner is.

It doesn’t cost much to marry anyone you like but when it comes to finding the right partner, it’s almost an Herculean task. Finding the right partner is more than marrying anyone who catches your fancy, you have to know the consequences of marrying the wrong person.

In today’s world, there has been a lot of deviation from Biblical principles as to how to find the right partner. Some relationship counselors would tell you to marry your best friend, catch them young, go out on a date to find the right person, marry who you love and so on.
If all these were to be true, why are marriages ending in divorce, deceit, separation and abuse?

See, there are two ways of finding a thing: it’s either you use the shortcut or endure the process of using the normal route.

I do not care about the popularity of a principle, what matters most is that: is it according to the Creator’s blueprint?
If you want to get it right, you must follow the guidelines that God gave.

Adam was in a state of “deep sleep” when He was making the right partner for him and it connotes “REST”.

If you want to find the right partner, “rest”. Rest means a state of inactivity, being motionless or doing nothing. Adam wasn’t sampling the animals to know the right partner but he did something captured in Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and don’t lean onto your own understanding”.

Does it mean I’d be doing nothing?

Does it mean God will send an angel to me showing me the right partner?

Here are the things you must do while resting. While resting, don’t worry or be impatient but do the following:

1). Pray
Pray about who to marry when you discover that God’s impressing the matter of marriage in your heart. Pray to know the person. Jeremiah 33:3 and Daniel 2:22 are good scriptures to use.

When you prayerfully seek His face for guidance, He’ll speak to you. Don’t depend only on prayer contractors, prophets or MOGs; they’re good for confirmation but if you solely depend on them, confusion would set in.

Pray, He will speak to you. Don’t wait till you’re hitting the point of getting married before you develop your spiritual life. The health of your spiritual life is an enabling factor that makes you to know the right partner.

Let God speak personally to you on this matter. There’s NOBODY that God cannot speak to, take away sin from your life and be rightly positioned. It’s only ignorance and laziness that prevents many from investing in their spiritual life but when it’s carnal things, they have the strength for it.

2). Be Patient
It’s not immediately that you pray that God will bring the right partner, in some cases, it takes a while. When you pray, He will show you some details about the person.

Be patient because persons with similar features will come your way. In fact, the devil can manipulate the manifestation prior to His own appointed time.

Don’t rush. Don’t be in a hurry to get married. It takes patience to marry the right partner and to have a good marriage but impatience pushes you into the wrong relationship.

Don’t let internal and external pressure influence your decision. Wait! Even if God has revealed and confirmed it, still be patient.

Abram’s impatience led to the birth of Ishmael that became a thorn in the flesh of his descendants. There’s always a time for God to fulfill His word over your marital life. Don’t compare yourself with others and don’t run ahead of His timing.

According to my friend, Tolu Agboola, “God’s purpose for your life is important than your own timing”.

3). Be Careful

Next to being patient is to be careful. Be careful of being misled. Be careful of being matchmaked when God hasn’t spoken.

Be careful of who you tell to help you interpret what God showed you, it’s not everyone that has the spiritual capacity to interpret revelations accurately. Some may not even be in the right spiritual frame to do so or inquire from God.

Satan doesn’t know the will of God for your life, but when God speaks, he hears through your flesh. Be careful. God speaks. The flesh speaks. Situation speaks, so also the opinion of men.

Having prayed, being patient and being careful; you need these to ascertain who the right partner is;

Divine revelation
God speaks through dreams, vision, trance and His word (The scripture). Dreams comes from God, the devil and through the multitude of your business (thoughts) in the day.

The only way to authenticate divine revelation is through the word of God. And the confirmation gotten from those who are spiritually mature than you or your spirit-filled brethren is of great help.

However, the state of your prayer life and your proximity to God determines the accuracy of your revelation and your spiritual understanding…in all your getting, get understanding (spiritual).

Spiritual discernment
Do you know that Samuel almost made the mistake of anointing the wrong person as a king? Thank God for His ability to hear His word.

There’s a knowing that settles all doubt and confusion. There’s a knowing that gives you peace that surpasses all human understanding which doesn’t come from emotional bliss or excitement.

If you don’t see vision or dream, which is impossible, then you must be discerning.

Worldly principles can’t fetch you the right partner. Your education, experience and exposure would equally fail but I can’t beat the chest in assurance that adopting these Biblical principles would guarantee you success in finding the right partner.

Whether you use the right principle or worldly philosophy; the storm would come, the rain would beat upon your marriage and the flood will descend upon it. If your marriage will fail or succeed, it depends on your foundation: who you marry, the principles you adopt and if you’re the right person.

You can’t over-pray, pray for God to show you who He’s prepared for you; be patient, nothing done in haste ends well and be careful so that you won’t miss it maritally.