BRIDE PRICE vs BRIDE SELLING, the Aftermat by Obele Nwa Mpa Nnukwu

by Mazi Odera Igbo (POg)

 

 

Ndi Nkem, I come to us with issue that is dear to my Heart which is affecting our Youths.

 

Issue many will curse me out over, and discuss parents will hiss and spat in anger, but I careless one way or the other as long as we start seeing things properly and doing things right.

 

Only in Anambra state do Marriage appears like friendly exchange, we bargain up and down but eventually what we take is amusing. In my Kindred, no matter how much you paid, the father will take one denomination from the money, it might be 100,200,500 or 1,000 and give you back the other one with the word “Use it to make sure there is food on the family table”.

 

It works like Magic, that Man always call the father of his wife “Mpa” or Daddy, very few call them In law, same with the Mother, because they took them as Family and that’s when an Inlaw will take care of every member of that family both academically, Entrepreneurship and securing Jobs that pays well but cost fortune to get.

 

The Magic is simple, Fathers, mothers should stop being greedy, like in Nollywood movies where a Father will say he is looking for Rich Inlaw that will build him a house, buy him a Car, set up business for his Sons who are akaliogheri.

On the Traditional marriage day, all kind of extortion will rise, all kind of list will suffice and demands that can float a Supermarket will come to play, so tell me how the Man you extorted will turn around to accept you as friend or relation?

Can you accept the Man who sold Car or Motorcycle to you as friend?

 

No one can because he sampled his goods, you priced it and paid in full and receipt issued, you take away your purchase that ends the relationship, there’s no passion or compassion between the seller and the buyer, which was why, whenever you extorted from your Inlaw, that will be the last time both of you will shine teeth because there is no basis for fraternity.

 

Once you sold your daughter at high cost, you give her out as Slave, it is her personal Chi that will provide certain Love or likeness that will follow her in that marriage, also high cost of marriage rites has made many well mannered Girls not to marry, some Boys will actually insist to marry a GIRL even at that cost, but maybe on the last day or even D day, an elder who has experienced gruesome attitude meted to him or family member from that part will come and take a stand, that he won’t be part of that suicidal Journey and many others may step down from the Convoy, if the Bride groom has Brain in his Skull, he will walk away and the Girl will feel humiliated, not knowing that her tradition is her Albatros and others too.

 

Man, you are not selling your daughter, even if your in law is driving Bently or Rolls Royce phantom, let him know what you want is happy home and not money, once you remove eye from his wallet, he will shove that money down your throat because he is indebted to your Benevolence.

 

Like during the days when Men were Boys, any Girl that doesn’t take money from you puts you at a very bad spot, you won’t be seeing her like other girls, you simply boast “She is well mannered, well cultured and not after material things”, then the boy will be calculating what he will do to Suprise the Girl in a larger way, and even after he does it, he still think he owe you a lot, but those that are always asking for money to make Hair should know that they have shown they are in the Business of Cleavage, pay as you go, the worst is those that demands Transport Money, it announces that Her supply is without guarantee, so you pay in advance, if you dislike the merchandise, the seller plays smart and loose nothing, then you the buyer sees it as afia akpa which can never be repeated.
Some will say it is Custom of my people to charge exorbitantly.. Yes, even when you start fighting that but there are things due to your own family which is mostly the expensive ones, you cut them off.. Also those Village Champions don’t pay such or take such in thier cases, just dig deep you will discover certain areas that are not compousry, just eliminate such.

 

Then on wedding most Girls wants Shower Bride, Pictures taking at expensive Studios where both the Bride and groom dresses like students in school Uniform which adds nothing to the new life but removes so much from the pocket of your husband.

 

Then the Girl wants her friends to come and be lodged in a Hotel prior to the wedding at expense of the Husband who may be struggling to cope, and if the Man eventually see a better or finer one out of your friend you will blame Satan, whereas you are the Idiot.

What on earth do such idiocy act add to any wedding?

 

Then wedding proper the man will book very expensive Hall, make expensive apparels, waste money because he believe his friends will come and spray money, at that period he is ogbalu Uru, agbaghi ohom (He calculate only profit and forget losses that may follow).

 

Read my Lips, most wedding cost far more than returns and when you spend all you have or even go into debt to Wed, just know that your Poverty is made in MACAU China.

 

Young man listen to onye Nna, if you want to Wed, sit down on your own and map out money you can spend and poverty won’t push you around, then make sure you don’t spend a penny more, if your wife demand for expensive wedding, with calmness ask her to go and get the money from her Father or ask her how much she have in her account which will serve as supplement or cushion?

 

She can get from her brother or relation, if not insist on what you can afford is what you planned, if she go to her family and get the money, it means She is not ready to marry you for she wants to be the Husband and you the HORSE.. TAKE the money she got as wedding Gift, then change the wedding to morning Mass , no reception and if she said it is over her dead body, don’t kill her, just marry any of her friend over night and still meet up with the wedding.

 

She can only cry but there is nothing she can do because she is the one who rejects you as a qualified man to marry her.

 

What you ask her is “Will you marry me” and not will You RUIN ME?“, trying to please her with her type of wedding is suicidal.

 

She will argue that it is once in a life thing, which is fair but Poverty is forever agony and she will taunt you for rest of that miserable life, so grow up and jettison expensive marriage, also Note that most larger than life wedding Last less than 2 years and story will enter part 2 of “I made a Mistake”.

 

Girl, some of your friends will advise you not to accept anything less than Classy.. If that friend is married kindly advise her to exchange her Husband with yours or she should simply shut up and allow you be, every Man on his own, every family on its own, don’t allow Ndi Uchu to break you and put your future asunder.

 

I have not heard that one won laurel for having expensive wedding, the best is to show it on Instagram or Facebook and brag about it, years later it became past tense that’s if you are still married.

 

Aso ebi pronounced Ashebi is a Yoroba tradition, they usually have few of them and use them now and then, but our people bought into that craze, including burials and weddings.. If you really want Color riot, just go and get some School Children in your town from 5 Schools the combination will be Super, stop struggling to make artificial event colorful, just have a life that is meaningful, not after wedding you become remorseful.

After wedding you want a Housemaid?.. Ina apu Ara? That is time you will get close to your man in a house that is lonely, you can be in the kitchen and he too will enter and well anything may happen and no one knows when procreation takes place, but with Housemaid there are restrictions, plus you can’t get to know what he wants and what makes him angry which you will know if you stay with him alone until Babies started popping.

 

Those who celebrated your expensive and Wasteful wedding will be the first to tweet the break up of your marriage, many of them are monitoring spirits who pretend to be friends, but they are ever sad and expecting you to fail, Infact they may have place bet on how long you last in marriage.

 

Don’t think even your friends are happy for you, they are not and will not, that’s life for you and especially with Ladies, they hate progress of Friends with passion.

 

Stop trying to use window Decoration in marriage, nobody cares how expensive your Wedding Suit or Gown cost, they care more what happens after wedding, which if you waste fund in wedding then debt will usher you into a Frustrating marital life, read my Lips, poverty is a bitch especially the one you invited with your idiocy.

 

Some Inlaws will insist you must Wed the daughter and especially your Mother inlaw will push you to give the daughter a befitting wedding which is not wrong, but in my Town, one who is selling Fowl will always expand the wings to show the buyer how big the Fowl is, then the buyer will fold the wings to show how thin she is.

If your Inlaws or even wife wants elaborate wedding or Igba Nkwu, just tell them that if it is outside what you budgeted, that you will dress up and stand by as they sponsor you to whatever they want, but note this.. If they sponsor your marriage, they are showing upfront they have no respect for you and will never stay away from your house progress or freedom, they will continue acting as Lord, unless you show them great madness and make them to stay clear, but that starts from day one.

 

If you save money on your marriage, you can use it to buy Land or invest after the wedding Maka echi di ime, don’t allow trifle things to put your head on the ground because it is same you that will be crying efue muooo.

 

This is Mkpisi Ndi Egede, Last Born Mpa Nnukwu, Mazi Odera POg JP, Nwa Chukwu Ku na aka na ONWU agaghi egbu nwu ya trying to reach our Youths Maka posterity.