Nigerian Women, Marriage and Children

Nigerian Women, Marriage and Children

I was with a friend over the weekend

She got married two years ago and she’s still in her honeymoon phase as she and the husband still play and behave like teenagers, laughing, hanging out, taking goofy selfies, reenacting TikTok challenges, and peppering us on WhatsApp

I’ve always been a fan of love and her marriage always inspires me because I love love, and I love seeing couples in love.

So, when she called and asked me to come over so we can catch up, I quickly went.


As I entered her home, I couldn’t help but notice how radiant she looked.

Shortly after I got there the husband stepped out for a weekend hangout with some of his guys and it was just the two of us

We reminisced about her two years of married life, and I couldn’t resist teasing her about the joys and challenges that come with it. She was talking animatedly, sharing her honeymoon phase experiences, which I had read somewhere usually lasted for about two years but from the look of things, hers wasn’t ending anytime soon.


Just as we were engrossed in our conversation, her phone rang. She glanced at the caller ID, excused herself, and answered the call.

I overheard her laughter, but it was forced, and it was clear something was amiss. After ending the call, she let out the longest sigh I’d ever heard.

Concerned, I asked, “What’s wrong? Who upset you?”

She paused for a moment, and then she opened up about her frustration with people bombarding her with questions about her marriage.


Her friend had called to share a dream where she was carrying a baby and wanted to find out if her dream was true and if she was indeed pregnant.

In response, my friend had mentioned her own dream to her friend, she said she saw her wearing a wedding gown and wondered if her boyfriend had proposed.

She said she decided to resort to such tactics because this particular friend was known for being overly inquisitive and somewhat lacking in tact as she was known to be a chronic gossip.


Before marriage, everyone had pestered her with inquiries about when she would get married, and how they couldn’t wait to eat wedding rice. Now that she was married, the questions had shifted to when she would have children, as they were eagerly anticipating baby dedication rice.

Just two years into her marriage, the incessant questioning was beginning to wear her down and put her under unnecessary pressure because whenever she visits her mother-in-law, her eyes would be fixated on her stomach.


As a Nigerian, I understand the temptation to ask when someone will get married or have kids. It’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a Nigerian to not ask you when are you getting married or what are you waiting for to have a baby, but let’s make a conscious effort to be more considerate and instead offer genuine support and understanding.

The timing of such life events is unique for everyone. Just because someone got pregnant immediately after their wedding or tied the knot shortly after meeting their partner doesn’t mean that everyone should follow the same path.

Marriage is a journey with its own dynamics, and the best way to show care is to let couples navigate their path at their own pace, free from our preconceived expectations.


As I stood up to leave, I looked around and said, “Your house is too quiet o, but children running around the house no go bad sha, it’ll keep the house lively.” I turned and fled as she was already looking for a weapon to unalive me.


Ajebo Writer

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