HOW TO ORGANIZE A PROGRAMME CUM CEREMONY WELL
by Antiquity Prince.
This write up is meant to be brief, but if it’s not, please try & read to the end, use it & give to those that need it, to read.
I have found out that a lot of us do things because others did it or others are doing it, without knowing or remembering that all fingers are not equal, “there’s no competition in life/destiny”, “your destiny can be delayed, not denied, so wait for your turn”, finally, that, we should cut our cloths according to our size.
No wedding has been termed the best in the world, the best in Nigeria, etc. What’s is important is the marriage, not the wedding ceremony, the fertility of the couple, the authenticity of their love, etc.
The major thing we need in a wedding cum wedding ceremony, is good planning. If you fail to plan well, you may have unknowingly planned to fail. I have seen it where the wedding ceremony was organized in a very big way, but ended few months, even few days after the unimaginable expensive wedding.
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How to Plan:
First, list the necessary things you need for the wedding, Suit, gown, settlement cum arrangements with the Church, etc. Check your pocket, I mean the money you have, not the one you are expecting, then buy only those ones you can afford, iron them well, make sure they fit you well, if you are not sure of a crowd, go to a church that is not too big in size, or you can arrange well with the choir & other groups to be in Church and make it more colourful.
Wedding Ceremony: Kolanuts with garden egg, rice, few bottles of wine with some drinks will be okay. Instead of a cooling van of over #75,000, get drums & buy ice blocks of less than #15,000. Instead of Henekein everywhere, get one or two cartons, use other green bottles to minimize price. Instead of #80,000 D.J, use the #30,000 D.J, but make sure the microphone is working well. Forget about #500,000 decoration, go for another good one with lesser price. Why do you call a Caterer of over #300,000 while you can pick two to three females in your family & from your in-law’s place that can cook well, then hire the necessary things to make it look like a buffet?.
Borrowing to do a tantalizing wedding ceremony is equal to Beautiful Nonsense, in fact, Nonsensical Nonsense. Have I told you that marrying a woman or man who is not content with what he/she has, what you have, who engages in unhealthy competitions, is the first failure you will have. You may naturally & unfortunately marry the wrong person, but with patience, time, prudence & prayers, you will come over it and move on.
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BURIAL CEREMONY: A lot of people don’t know that burial ceremony in Igbo land, is one of the most expensive & complicated ceremonies in Igbo land. First, it does not call for individual planning, rather groups planning. You start with the immediate family, extended family, kinsmen maternal home, in-laws, among others. You must do all burial rights, especially consultation of Umunna, Ndi umere nne, Ndi ógó, etc, give them their rights, before you proceed. The major thing is to check those things your father or mother did not do, make sure you do them all before you bury him/her, or before you do them for him/her, if you cannot do so, avoid them all. For instance, no need killing a goat or cow for your father, if your father did not do it for his father, if you try it, you will know the meaning of “Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar & to God what belongs to God”.
Never you borrow to bury, in Igbo land, it is said that, “Onye rere ala lie Mmadu, a kwaala ozu abuò” = he who sold a land or borrowed to bury his loved one, has just performed unknown two burials. Do not kill two cows or three cows because your neighbour did it, if you kill one & manage it well, it can be enough. Just add some other meats like chicken, plus some cartons of fish, arrange them well, you will take care of everything. You must not call undertakers while there are youths in your place you can give uniform or t-shirts to do it for you.
You can get one or two security men if need be, but not with Hilux vans everywhere, while the youths can do that if you give them #50,000 or less. Why will you call for three or more different music while one good live-band with a simple D.J will be okay? Sometimes, calling more music disorganize the show & make it difficult for the M.C to control the desperate Musicians/Vocalists.
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You must not do flamboyant decorations, you must not build a tent that will cost you over #200,000 while you can decorate two canopies very well for your V.I.Ps. Make sure your budget is not above your wallet.
The easiest way you can have a befitting burial is by attending to burials of others, giving them drinks or cow or money to help them in planning, during your own turn, 85% of them will reciprocate. You can then understand the meaning of the Igbo adage, “Onye gara mba anu juru n’akpa, Ndi ó nyere, nyere ya”. I have attended burials where they bereaved families have money, but buried their parent with cows & drinks dashed to them by people, yet a lot were remaining. For instance, when I buried my mother, Ezinne Lóló SallyVinty Nwankwo, I only bought 50% of the budgeted drinks (half), my siblings asked why, I told them people would bring the rest, because I knew we gave to people, even my mother gave more. At the end, after that successful cum befitting burial, people drank for one full week, yet drinks were remaining. I know of a burial I attended in Ihitte Uboma, after burial, 32 cows were remaining, the meaning is that, those they helped came & said thank you.
It is very poor to buy things for burial in credit, especially when you know you have not been giving to people. The only way you can attest that you gave your loved one a befitting burial is, when after the ceremony, you are not owing, there was no fracas, yet people were at least moderately served & taking care of.
Some people may not understand all these above, may see it as not necessary, but I must say, whether wedding ceremony, burial ceremony, House Opening ceremony, birthday ceremony/party, other ceremonies, do not do it the way they did theirs, she did hers, he did his, or because they did it, please do according to what you have, what you can afford, what you can carry, what is very necessary.
Finally, if you have the money, if you have the spirit/heart❤️ to spend the money, if you have more than enough, if you are sure you won’t regret it later, if you are sure you can still move on well after extravagantly doing the ceremony as you want, please go ahead, “ego a raala nshi”, spend it, let the news continue, uwa wu otu mbia.