I hear people complain bitterly about their partners not showing appreciation for the gifts they buy for them. Some have concluded their spouse is ungrateful because of the value of the gift presented to their spouse or how much money was spent on the gift.

There is no one way of showing love or affection to one’s partner. What one terms as affectionate is not the same for another due to how differently people grew up, how much affection they received and their needs.

So, it is important to get to know your partner and love them the way they want to be loved. Show them affection in a language that they best understand. Give them gifts that are meaningful to them.

To some people, affection is not material things or expensive gifts but the quality of time and attention you dedicate to them and the conversations with you. Unfortunately for such people, their partners do not know this. Their partners pretend to be available but they are actually absent.

Such people are physically present with their partner but mentally absent due to the things they are doing or thinking about at that time. Their attention is not on the conversation with their partner. Some are so distracted that, they cannot have a 30-minute conversation with their partner without distraction.

Because they are not connected mentally, they barely understand what is being discussed, they don’t underhand their partner’s needs and desires. They are emotionally disconnected so they don’t understand how their partner feels. If you have to talk about matters of the heart, one needs to know the heart is what matters. How your partner feels is what matters.

To such people, your time and attention is more valuable to them than diamonds and roses. What they desire most is the gift of your time and attention rather than the gifts you buy for them. You cannot ignore what they desire most and expect them to appreciate you.

In conclusion, Love “doesn’t force itself on others” – 1 Corinthians 13:5b (MSG).